Friday, February 15, 2019

Annals of Public Education

This particular sixth grade math class has had three, maybe four teachers, and they know I'm a sub. They're out for blood. They're drunk with power, knowing that if twenty two of them talk at once, what can I do? Keep them all in for lunch detention? Write all their parents?

The district has trouble finding math teachers, and it's not just subs when things fall apart early in the semester. It's right at the beginning, when someone is supposed to sign up for nine months of teaching these little monsters. The kids are actually quite innocent when they arrive, but they work themselves up into a frenzy of hormones when they sense weakness or lack of authority. And, they don't like math. They've had poor math education in the elementaries, and they know it's their weakness. They don't necessarily buy our pleas that it's important for their future. Or, they just get caught up in the fun of beating a sub.

"They're good kids," some people say, but the side I've seen of them hasn't been good. I've seen them using lotion as a weapon; taking little blocks out of a game and throwing them; crumpling up paper and throwing it at each other; leaving so much marker on a seat that other kids get their clothes marked; having to go to the restroom because their face is marked up, or their clothes, or there's lotion in their hair or hands, or any of various problems. They are certainly not doing their math homework. They don't know from averages. They can't answer simple questions. One can't read their handwriting. Their numbers don't make any sense, or, are copied from their friends, or both.

You may think all this is my fault, that perhaps I'm not stern enough for them. Yes, I guess that's true. I've been as mean as I could be, and it wasn't mean enough. I yelled and screamed, but they threw a little block at me when I turned my back. They stood on tables, and wrote on all the boards. They took whole boxes of kleenex out of the cupboards when I turned my back.

I'm too old for this, I might say. They don't think I'll make it, so they haven't given me the keys to the Synergy, or grading program. Without power over their grades, I'm just a sub - why should they listen? And, I have jury duty on Tuesday. Maybe I'll get a break from the whole ordeal.

Sixth grade math is not that hard. It forces them to think, though, and they've developed a resistance to that. They're too busy talking to think. They might be able to think at home, or maybe in a room with another teacher. At the moment, though, it's all-out war.

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